First of all, you won’t like the answer. So if it pissed you off, stop reading. Go cry instead. If you have the gut to read, let’s continue.
The short answer is because you allow it.
Here’s the long answer.
First let’s give this employee a name: Messi.
Messi is very good with what he does. In some way, Messi is brilliant. Otherwise, you probably don’t care about him in the first place. Or you might have fired him when people complained to you that Messi is an asshole.
Messi only has one tiny problem: he doesn’t work well with people.
He behaves like a child. He screams, yells, uses manipulative words to get what he wants from others.
When his screaming, yelling, kicking doesn’t work, he uses his boss to get what he wants.
A typical way of using the boss is “my boss said so, so let’s do it or he will be mad.”
Surprisingly, this tactics of using the boss works. Messi got what he wanted all the time. Why? because no one ever went to Messi’s boss to ask for clarification.
And if anyone does, Messi’s boss would confirm whatever Messi said earlier and tell the brave person to do what Messi said. The behavior is reinforced time after time and people learned to listen to Messi.
To the boss, Messi is the most beloved and charming employee. In fact, the boss does everything to keep Messi happy.
If anyone ever mentions something different about Messi, the boss would shrug his shoulder off and told the poor guy that Messi deserves the love.
Messi would continue his tactics of screaming, yelling, manipulating, and using the boss when he can’t succeed with his own manipulation.
The word to describe Messi is the bully at work.
And when the bully gets what he wants, he will keep going.
You will only know about this type of behaviors when Messi starts to disappoint you.
Or when you start hearing complaints after complaints about Messi.
Or when you start finding out why things don’t work.
You might wonder how you can help Messi before it’s too late.
Yes, that’s a smart thought. If you let Messi continue, it’s not only harmful to Messi (he also needs to grow up), but also in the long run it doesn’t help you. People will stay away from you.
So how can you help Messi? how can you help yourself?
The following describes a simple method that you can start using. More complex and powerful methods are available upon requests.
- Gather 360 feedbacks about Messi. Ask people to give candid feedbacks.
- Observe Messi and become aware yourself with how Messi behaves toward others
- Meet with Messi and have a candid conversation with him. Messi will listen to you as usual.
- Give Messi feedbacks
- Come up with a plan of actions with Messi to change his behavior
- Work on yourself and become aware why you allowed the type of Messi’s behavior in the first place.
Keep in mind that team work makes dream work. To succeed, you need a team.