The biggest mistake you might make: assign power, influence, authority to someone with a title

Engineer 1 visits the headquarter office and meets a VP at the elevator. The engineer doesn’t know that this is a VP.

Engineer in a very peaceful and pleasant voice: “Hi, how are you? My name is X. I am visiting from another office. This is my first time here. You must be very lucky to work in this nice office.”

VP: “Thank you. Yes, it’s a nice office. What team are you in?”

Engineer: “I am on team Y.”

VP: “It is a great team. You guys are working on some cool project.”

The elevator comes to a stop and they wish each other well.

Later on, when the engineer find out that he talked to a VP, he hopes that he didn’t say anything stupid.

At the end of the day, the engineer takes the elevator to go home and meets the VP again.

Knowing that he’s in the same elevator with a VP, the engineer becomes very uncomfortable. The VP is friendly like he was in the morning and is glad to see his new friend again. Fear grows inside the engineer. He’s intimidated. He just says “Hi” and couldn’t open his mouth anymore.

It’s the same person this engineer meets in two different circumstances. The engineer lets the title and formal position intimidate him. He’s no longer free like he was in the morning.

This is a common mistake people in workplace make. They assign power and authority to someone’s title. They let titles control how they talk to someone.

A title doesn’t make someone a leader. A position doesn’t make someone a leader. What make someone a leader is influence. Influence is earned. Don’t assign power, influence, authority to someone with a title. More importantly, treat everyone you meet like a human being.

Four frightening words every manager must avoid

One of the most dreadful sentences at work: “We need to talk.”

A manager comes to his engineer’s desk and says in hurry: “We need to talk.”

Engineer in fearful voice and distressed look: “Now?”

Manager:  “Tomorrow as I have to run.”

The manager leaves and the engineer is in complete puzzle. He’s now wondering if there’s any serious problem he’s got involved with. His co-workers who overheard the sentence come over asking if there’s any problem. They start sharing how stressful it was for them to hear the boss getting mad in one-on-one.

The engineer comes home losing sleep. He can’t even finish his meal worrying what’s going to happen when his boss talks to him.

The morning comes. The tired and stressful engineer meets the boss.

Manager: “The project you worked on last month got selected for the presidential award. I want to talk to you about the upcoming promotion.”

The engineer is shocked. He collapses and is sent to hospital in an ambulance.

The manager is investigated. It turns out that he has a habit of saying “we need to talk” to express his power. Often times, “we need to talk” resulted in serious talks with his engineers leaving the talk crying.

The manager is fired even though he’s a very competent guy.

If you are a manager, respect your people. Treat them the same way you want to be treated. Keep in mind that the meaning of your communication is in the other person’s mind, not yours.

#WorkplaceRudeness, #jerksatwork, #thesamuraicoach, #lifeisgood#letsgethonest, #letsbehonest, #letsgethonest

The ancient secret to control your anger

A leader who had a bad reputation due to his anger and hot temper came to see his coach.

“Coach, how can I manage my anger?” the leader asked.

“How committed are you to deal with your anger?”, asked the coach.

“Coach, I can’t control my anger. I got angry too easily. If this continues, I would lose my job, my wife, my children, and my friends. I beg you to help me”, the leader begged the coach.

“Here’s a bag of nails, a hammer, and a wooden board. Every time you get angry, put a nail into the board”, the coach gave out the secret.

The board was made of hard wood. It was difficult to put the nail in. The first day, the leader put 30 nails into the board. His hand hurt.

The second day, he put 25 nails into the board. The third day, he put 24 nails into the board. Gradually, the leader found that it was easier to control his anger than putting the nail into the board.

After 30 days, the leader found himself putting 0 nail into the board. He was finally able to control his anger.

He happily told his coach his success. The coach congratulated him and said: “Here’s the nail punch. Every time you can control your anger, use it to take one nail out of the board.”

Day after day, the leader took nails out of the board. Finally, he got all the nails out of the board. He felt accomplished and came to see the coach.

The coach gently told the leader: “Look at the board, my friend. It’s full of holes. No matter what you do, the holes will be on the board forever.”

The lesson: if you stab someone with a knife, no matter how many times you apologize the wound will be there forever. The pain caused by words is as painful as the physical pain. Angry words are like sharp knifes. You can cause permanent damages to someone that can’t never be healed.

#thesamuraicoach, #letsbehonest, #leadership, #coaching, #WorkplaceRudeness, #jerksatwork, #lifeisgood

A simple way to make someone happy

The lady behind the cashier at the gas station looks very unhappy and grumpy.

“Hi mam, could I use the complimentary air?” I uncomfortably asked.

She stared at me and said with no emotion “Sure.”

I returned a minute later: “Mam, the pump was not on.”

“I just pressed the button. I don’t know what else to do. Here I am pressing it again.” She said angrily.

“Hmm… this lady really wants me to pay?” I quietly thought.

After using the pump to inflate my car’s tires, I was thinking whether I should say “thank you” to her as she didn’t seem to be very friendly.

After going back and forth inside my head, I stepped up to the cashier and said “Thank you, mam.”

She gave me the brightest smile ever.

“You didn’t look very happy. Was there anything wrong?” I asked.

Smiling, she said :”People just came to order me to give them free air. No one actually said thank you like you did. You brighten my day. Thank you, sir.”

A simple thank you was all she needed.  Silent gratitude isn’t much good to anyone.

“Thank you” is simple but how often we use it.

Thank you for reading my post.

Now your turn to thank people even for the smallest thing they do for you.

#thesamuraicoach, #lifeisgood, #thankyou, #letsbehonest, #letsgethonest