The ancient secret to control your anger

A leader who had a bad reputation due to his anger and hot temper came to see his coach.

“Coach, how can I manage my anger?” the leader asked.

“How committed are you to deal with your anger?”, asked the coach.

“Coach, I can’t control my anger. I got angry too easily. If this continues, I would lose my job, my wife, my children, and my friends. I beg you to help me”, the leader begged the coach.

“Here’s a bag of nails, a hammer, and a wooden board. Every time you get angry, put a nail into the board”, the coach gave out the secret.

The board was made of hard wood. It was difficult to put the nail in. The first day, the leader put 30 nails into the board. His hand hurt.

The second day, he put 25 nails into the board. The third day, he put 24 nails into the board. Gradually, the leader found that it was easier to control his anger than putting the nail into the board.

After 30 days, the leader found himself putting 0 nail into the board. He was finally able to control his anger.

He happily told his coach his success. The coach congratulated him and said: “Here’s the nail punch. Every time you can control your anger, use it to take one nail out of the board.”

Day after day, the leader took nails out of the board. Finally, he got all the nails out of the board. He felt accomplished and came to see the coach.

The coach gently told the leader: “Look at the board, my friend. It’s full of holes. No matter what you do, the holes will be on the board forever.”

The lesson: if you stab someone with a knife, no matter how many times you apologize the wound will be there forever. The pain caused by words is as painful as the physical pain. Angry words are like sharp knifes. You can cause permanent damages to someone that can’t never be healed.

#thesamuraicoach, #letsbehonest, #leadership, #coaching, #WorkplaceRudeness, #jerksatwork, #lifeisgood

A simple way to make someone happy

The lady behind the cashier at the gas station looks very unhappy and grumpy.

“Hi mam, could I use the complimentary air?” I uncomfortably asked.

She stared at me and said with no emotion “Sure.”

I returned a minute later: “Mam, the pump was not on.”

“I just pressed the button. I don’t know what else to do. Here I am pressing it again.” She said angrily.

“Hmm… this lady really wants me to pay?” I quietly thought.

After using the pump to inflate my car’s tires, I was thinking whether I should say “thank you” to her as she didn’t seem to be very friendly.

After going back and forth inside my head, I stepped up to the cashier and said “Thank you, mam.”

She gave me the brightest smile ever.

“You didn’t look very happy. Was there anything wrong?” I asked.

Smiling, she said :”People just came to order me to give them free air. No one actually said thank you like you did. You brighten my day. Thank you, sir.”

A simple thank you was all she needed.  Silent gratitude isn’t much good to anyone.

“Thank you” is simple but how often we use it.

Thank you for reading my post.

Now your turn to thank people even for the smallest thing they do for you.

#thesamuraicoach, #lifeisgood, #thankyou, #letsbehonest, #letsgethonest

How to win a battle but … lose the war

One way: winning an argument without caring about the outcome for the end user…

With the recent Equifax breach, an argument in Mid-May could have been:

Devoted engineers: Apache disclosed a vulnerability in March. We must patch our system with latest updates according to Apache guidelines as it can cause a security breach and impact our customers.

Other devoted engineers and management: We have to release tomorrow. We are not going to delay the release because of an Apache vulnerability. It’s been two months since Apache disclosed the vulnerability and no issue with our services. It’s too late to patch now. We will release according to the schedule or our boss wont be happy.

Management might have won the battle against those devoted engineers but the war was over when the breach happened. Customers suffered. Many of those customers could also be Equifax engineers and management.

How to win the war (might lose the battle):

Engineers: Apache disclosed a vulnerability in the version that our system is using. Patching will delay our release tomorrow.

Management: Let’s patch our system. My job can be on the line but customer First.

When you have lost the battle, but won the war, you have been defeated in a small conflict you have won a larger, more important one of which it was a part. 

#thesamuraicoach, #customerfirst, #equifax, #lifeisgood, #security, #leadership